In-N-Out

So I finally, after 29 years of existence, got a chance to eat at the much-hyped In-N-Out Burger chain, and I have to say, I was pretty disappointed. People in California talk about this place as if Jesus himself returned to Earth and started a burger chain. This view seems to be corroborated by the quotes on some of the utensils. It just didn't do it for me, though. I got the same kind of greasy burger you can get at any fast food joint, and In-N-Out has an extremely limited set of ingredients (no bacon, no mushrooms, and no cheese except American).

My guess is that some of the hype originates from the existence of secret menu items, which lets select patrons feel as though they belong to an exclusive club of people who know the code name for each subset of the 5 ingredients In-N-Out carries. It's the same phenomenon as knowing the correct grammar for constructing Starbucks drink names. (I'm pretty sure it's a regular grammar.) Anyway, I'd be much more likely to go back to In-N-Out if someone tells me the secret word for "not drowning in grease".